My Mental Wellness Journey with a Physical Disability

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Written by: Hasitha Illa

As a child, I was the cutest and bubbliest kid in the room. I acquired many fans wherever I went, and my mother never missed a single opportunity to take a photo of me. I joined any conversation, even if it was just for a laugh. I was always surrounded by smiles. My characteristics even seemed to fulfill the meaning of my name. I was always so busy with many activities such as karate, gymnastics, and swimming.

However, as I got older, I began noticing changes in my physical body. One day, out of nowhere my limbs fell limp, which left my parents worried. I began dropping plates due to imbalance. My childhood, which was supposed to be filled with parks and games, ended up being packed with hospital visits. I even had to discontinue playing Soccer –the only sport I was most passionate about– due to my sudden physical transformations.

NOT ALL CHANGE IS GOOD

I was diagnosed with a rare and progressive disease that has no cure, called Friedreich’s ataxia. It’s a rare genetic disease that causes difficulty walking, a loss of sensation in the arms and legs, and impaired speech. The disease causes damage to parts of your brain and spinal cord and can also affect your heart.

People started bullying me for the way I moved around. When they began treating me differently I grew very self-conscious. Although there were people like my parents who gave me constant support, I found myself focusing on the negatives– which ultimately spiraled me into a serious depression. I isolated myself during the day and cried myself to sleep at night.

The ‘Hasi’ in Hasitha had become absent.

STATE OF MIND

My disease steadily progressed year after year. For a while I was still able to walk with the support of others. However, there quickly came the point when I needed a wheelchair, which I was reluctant to accept. I disliked the sudden change in fate! I hated the attention it gave me, and the way people stared made me feel uncomfortable. Most of all, I despised taking photos in it. I did anything to avoid it. The wheelchair crushed my spirit.

While I was in this state of mind, my parents were heartbroken. During this time my mother decided nothing mattered more than my mental health. She introduced me to meditation. I was skeptical at first, but in the end, I joined for the sake of making my mother happy. The first thing I noticed there was the loving, positive, and motivating atmosphere. The relaxation techniques were soothing to my body and rejuvenating for my soul. It helped me embark in a journey of self change. Along with giving me calm and peace, meditation helped me rebuild my self-confidence.

Practicing meditations also helped give me the courage to participate in the Miss Wheelchair India pageant, where people proudly showcase their abilities. In addition, Brighter Minds helped me unravel my hidden talents.

ROAD TO WELLNESS

I also caught the sudden interest to write which opened new doors for me. I started writing my blog to share about my struggles and to inspire others.

Since then, I’ve accomplished so many other feats I no longer thought I would have the chance to! I’ve completed several college level projects and presented inspiring speeches.

All of this makes me so happy! I’ve learned everyone has some type of difficulty in life. But we cannot let our adversities bring us down. We must take them as a challenge and overcome them. Because in the end, how we actually win over the hurdles is what makes us who we are.

Now, I wake up everyday thanking the universe for blessing me with such a wonderful family and supportive friends.